Guest columnist: An abortion changed her life forever Cynthia L.....a On June 4, 1980, my life changed forever. I had an abortion. A friend recommended the abortionist. She had seven abortions at his clinic and said he was very good. The Metairie, Louisiana clinic was in a small, white wooden house on Veterans‘ Blvd.. The interior walls were made of dark wood. A few chairs were scattered around the waiting room. There were two black women sitting stone faced with several children running around. We exchanged dark glances. After a short wait, a nurse called me into a conference room where she asked me a few basic medical questions and took my temperature and blood pressure. As you can imagine, it was a bit high and they gave me something to calm me down. It failed. I was prepped in a room with a very strange smell. The wooden walls and floors were scuffed and did not appear to be sterile. My jaws were clenched together and a sound a didn’t recognize was coming out of my mouth. About this time, they began to give me Demerol. My body was so taut that it took three times the amount that was normally administered. The abortionist looked into my eyes and told me that he’d never get anyone else back there if I didn’t be quiet. His hands probed my stomach and his face lit up. “She’s pregnant!” he exclaimed to his nurse. It was if he were approaching the abortion with delight. This made me even more nervous. The doctor began to tell my how he was a scientist and dedicated to helping women. I should have left but I couldn’t move. The procedure began. When they say that the suction machine sounds like a vacuum cleaner, they are really telling the truth. It had a dark hose on it that began to gurgle. The pain I felt in my abdomen was nothing compared to the agony of hearing the sounds coming from the machine. No description would be sufficient. As the nurse gave me an envelope with five antibiotics to take, she told me that if I ran a temperature, I should see the doctor. There was no discussion of any side effects or how I might feel once I got home. As “he” helped me into the car, I began to cry. I repeated and repeated “I killed my baby…. “ Only several weeks beforehand, I was pregnant at my college graduation - on Mother’s Day. To this day, I can’t bear to look at the photographs. My friends kept telling me that I had a bright future ahead of me in art history. I fully intended to move on to graduate school. I didn’t. I began to have headaches. My parents wanted me to marry and have a family. I didn’t trust men anymore so I partied instead. Since trust was gone, no meaningful relationship materialized. It was impossible for me. With time, I realized that the only man I could really trust was Jesus and that He had all the answers for me if I’d only ask. It was time for a sincere return to the faith to which I had converted only a few short years before. The Catholic Church provided a safe environment in which to attempt to resolve my interior crisis. Time before the Blessed Sacrament gave me what little comfort I was able to obtain. While involved in ministry to the mentally handicapped, I met my future husband. He knew about the abortion from the very beginning. By that time, I was a pro life activist. We married in 1989. Disaster struck within two months. I had my first miscarriage. It was so sudden, I didn’t even realize what had happened until the problems began. Minor surgery was involved to correct them. God had mercy on me and in 1990, I gave birth to my first child, a daughter, by caesarian section, and when she was eleven months old, I discovered that I was pregnant with my son who was born in 1992. It was a real blessing to be able to nurse both children; I nursed both of them for six months - until I was forced to wean my two year old daughter. It was very difficult but I’d do it all over again. In 1996, I had my second miscarriage. My husband had to help me walk across the room. During an abortion, a woman’s cervix is artificially dilated. This causes damage to the tissue which can make it difficult to maintain a pregnancy. Abortionists do not warn you about this. Nor do they tell you that the hormonal changes in the breasts brought about by pregnancy remain unresolved after abortion and can later develop into breast cancer. I only pray that my years of breastfeeding will protect me from this indignity. And over time, the headaches got much, much worse. It is said by some experts that the unresolved hormonal changes brought about by abortion can cause many problems that still remain unknown. Through the ministry of the Church, I have found reconciliation with my dead children and the taste of peace in my soul. I write this essay in their memory to warn other women who might be considering abortion of these dangers. Don’t gamble with your health and that of the children you might bear in the future. Protect yourself and them by choosing life. Cynthia L.....a lives in (same town as Reeking Havoc) with her husband and two teenagers.

Brain of Steel

Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:18 pm    Mrs L.....a, your story sounds like it's all about the remorse of someone who took an irrevocable action without first resolving her conflicted feelings in the matter. The apparent consequence of doing so was an irrational assumption that men are not to be trusted. Perhaps you told yourself that men were at fault because a man had gotten you pregnant, and it was a man who did the abortion. Fortunately you found a man who loved you patiently enough to help you get over that fear. I'm glad you've found your peace, but unfortunately it appears to have been bought with a penance (your antiabortion activism) that involves demonizing some doctors who may be more compassionate than you know. It sounds from your own account like you were terrorizing yourself before that doctor even entered the room. I suspect your penance may also involve shaming other young women who would make the same choice you made, and attempting to take from them the option. I simply hope those women will search their own hearts first, and choose what is best for their lives. If you can not see your way clear to let them do so without interference, then I would suggest that you have not truly let go your past after all... If God forgave you, isn't it time to forgive others?

Friday January 25, 2008

Religious Leaders Urge Bush to Redeem 'Shameful' Legacy

By Matthew Streib

Religion News Service

You can pack 'em in for a while and get the offering plates filled by thundering about
"enemies of righteousness". You just focus on the "moral failings" of groups other than
your own congregation, and rally your troops to mobilize against the enemy out there
in the wicked world.

The troops don't have to give up anything but some money. They'll be thrilled to
feel righteous and empowered against the pseudo-evils of homosexuality and abortion
and secularism, while you, the shepherd, get rich and famous! It's a win-win
for everyone in your bubble.

...except that something has been left out...the heart teachings of the one you say is
God's only son! What about "love thy neighbor"? What about teaching the congregants
some practical ways to change their daily habits, so that they can grow more
compassionate toward each other and to people in general? 

What about that? Huh?

Here's a well-considered article about the declining political participation
of religious conservatives. I hope this means the American public is starting
to yearn for something more fulfilling than reviling someone else.

Click the picture, it tells the story...

Thich Nhat Hanh, one of my favorite authors, has spoken regarding recent persecution of Buddhist monks in Burma.
He wrote "Living Buddha, Living Christ" and "Engaged Buddhism", both books I would highly recommend.
I think that if more Christians were like Nhat Hanh and his students there would be less war and suffering going on in the world.
When monks make war they eventually win because the other side can't escape knowing they have done wrong.

How do you dehumanize "the enemy" in your mind if they treat you humanely while you are killing them?

More: secret cremations...

         Situational updates...
       

The opposition to teaching actual science in the schools keeps getting thwarted in the courts.
This wouldn't keep happening if voters were to elect more Republicans...

Here is a statement  (be sure to click at the bottom on his next two pages), from a dyed-in-the-wool Republican, a former military judge adjutant general (JAG), about Evangelical brass trying to impose their own faith upon their subordinates. He understands that religion that is not freely accepted is not religion but enslavement.

He has asked "How can humanity sustain another 100 years?".

Stephen Hawking's web page. Possibly the smartest man who has ever lived, I kid you not! Definitely a match for Einstein.

Avoidable abortion not avoided, due to actions of those who do not have to live with the consequences.

The game is called, "Let's you be doing what I say, while I congratulate myself on my morality."

 

Punishment-based Religions

 

Punishment-based religions are those which motivate their adherents by fear of being punished by God for their transgressions. Such forms of religion are characteristically authoritarian, with the primary emphasis being obedience to those who claim authority from God.

These men tell others that obedience to God means obedience to the religious hierarchy. They say that failure to do so is punishable, usually by consignment to Hell for all eternity. The followers become afraid to take the risks of thinking for themselves, and will potentially do some horrendous and cruel things in their “obedience”. Witness the actions of Islamic terrorists.

 

I think if you look at it, Islam and Christianity can be seen to harbor the greatest numbers of fear-based believers worldwide. I’ve no doubt that all religions with lengthy histories have them, including even Judaism and Buddhism, though I could not name these denominations for you. The Countessa (a devout Reform Jew) notes the history in Torah of the Hebrew tribes taking the Promised Land by swordpoint.

 

“Punishment-based religion does not bring out the best in me. It scares me and makes me afraid to change and grow. I prefer religions based in love or awareness. They have the opposite effect”.

–Reeking Havoc

 

Currently, a number of the world’s nations are in the grip of punishment-based religion.

Afghanistan. Saudi Arabia. Iran. The United States. Iraq.

 

The citizenry of such nations become more and more afraid to openly dispute the legitimacy of those who hold political power, when there is not enough separation of church and state. Do you see how insidious the manipulations of such leaders can be?

As “the State” and punishment-based religion become more synonymous one to the other, civil liberties erode in the name of protection from enemies and from hellfire.

 

Spying on terrorists can morph unnoticed into spying on political dissidents and on the general population. War becomes Peace. Big Brother punishes, out of his benevolent concern for the obedient common people. Democracy becomes a thing of the past, and it happens because people delay taking the risk of speaking out, because the loss of liberty happens gradually.

 

Will anyone say, “Today the line has clearly been crossed, and I would risk my livelihood or even my life to stop this,” when the changes are just a nibble here, a nibble there, with none of the increments being big enough in themselves to die over?

 

Honestly, I can’t say that I would be brave enough to do that. I guess I’ll find out if I ever see clearly, in my own mind, that things have gone too far. If there is any religion good enough to die for, it’s love-based or awareness-based, not punishment-based.

 

It’s happening here, in America, under a regime that lusts for money and power, not the common good and democracy. We are being told it is for our own good, that we should let the president have unlimited, unreviewed power, based on our trust in his judgement and his personal belief that God chose him for the job.

 

Is that so much for him to ask, in return for his promise of security?

 

Do you even believe he can deliver the security?