Reeking Havoc's...'s profileReeking Havoc's LairPhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
|
|
March 15 Living in the Future."Hellooo...We're glad you made it! Welcome to....the Future!!" -Artie Choke and the Whispering Squash. I used to wonder and make guesses about the future, what it would be like in the year 2000. That was in the 1960s, and the three-plus decades ahead made "the Future" seem like a mysterious and far-off land. What would the cars be like? Would we all be driving sleek levitating vehicles with atomic engines? There wouild surely be abundant energy and wealth for all in the advanced civilization ahead. Now I know the answer to these and other similar questions, and the answer is: "No." March 01 Snarky rejoinder to a weight insultI love this lady's answer to yet another insult from a total stranger. I can't tell you how many times people wounded my late wife to the core with their comments, whether "helpful" or overtly abusive... May 14 Hilarious Saturday Night Live video of "President Al Gore"Here you can see it in Windows Media or Quicktime format. That's a pretty convincing Al Gore impersonator...
You know, Al Gore is famous for his logical thinking, so much so that structured solutions to problems have come to be commonly referred-to as
"AlGore-ithms". May 04 Word for the day..."dogfeathers". (noun.) -wisps of white hair found along baseboards and under the desk in a house inhabited by a one-eyed Pekingese. March 09 Alterating the wordsThat John Murtha entry worked OK with the vulgarities changed! Let's
see if we can think of some other useful changelings to share with all
the bloggers out there.... "excre mental illness" "high men" "penosity" "vulvacious" "asholage" ''diccus" (as in Biggus Diccus) ''insertificator" "futhermukker".... October 08 If Andy Rooney was me, he'd talk about..."The Freedom to make Foolish Choices"It isn't explicitly codified, but one of the most important freedoms we can have is the freedom to make foolish choices. Consider that if this were not so, then someone, presumably the government or a religious authority (or both) would have to tell us what to do in all kinds of life situations, and we would be required to obey their "wise" directives. Does this sound good to you?
It didn't sound good to the founding fathers of the United States either, so a number of protections were built into the constitution to prevent this opressive state of affairs from happening.
Like separation of church and state, to prevent too much power being given into the hands of too few people.
Like the "checks and balances" built into the governmental structure, for the same reason.
The freedom to make foolish choices is not absolute. Sampling certain addictive substances can get you arrested, while routinely consuming others will not, unless you're DWI (I think that means "drunk while intoxicated").
But you can marry people who are bad for you, over and over. Or they can line up to marry YOU!
You can gamble your money away so there's nothing left to buy food and pay rent. I was opposed to legalizing casinos because of this danger, and now, years later, I don't feel that I was wrong. I never go to casinos, ever, except...when there's a performer there that I really like, like ZZ Top or Gallagher.
You can fritter your money away on all kinds of foolish things...
I had some Newcastle Brown ale last night at Outback Steakhouse...What is the name of that band from the seventies that did "Thirty Days in the Hole"? That song was the first mention I ever heard of it...
"Newcastle Brown, I'm tellin' ya, can sure smack ya down..." (I thought it must be some kind of heroin).
"The seeds and dust that you got bust on, ye know ye'r jailhouse bound! Thirty days in the hole, that's what they give you, thirty days in the hole..."
One of these things is not like the other... July 30 Latin class"O, civile, si ergo...
Fortibus es en arro!
O, Nobile! Deis trux!
Votis enem? Causan dux!"
Can you translate this?.... July 24 How to achieve SECURITY...You know, the kind of security that is lasting?
Well, it's like trying to nail Jello to the wall: it won't stay put for long, it's really a kind of silly activity, and isn't there something more interesting you could be doing? July 17 Public nudityTo balance some of my pontificating about morality, politics and religion, here is a bit about public nudity...
About Spencer Tunick, a photographer who stages large public nude events for his camera.
Signup here to pose nude in Spencer Tunick's projects.
Here's a page about famous streakers
...and here's one that promotes freedom to be nude in public.
Freedom's just another word for no clothes left to lose....
(I will if you will...You go first...) June 25 SillinessSome jokes are funny because the audience supplies the punchline: When Bugs Bunny encountered a weiner dog, he surely must have said... April 23 The word for the day is..."Fartypants".
I had intended to post a link to this supplier of activated-charcoal underwear, as a public service. To my great sorrow, I cannot find a link to the webpage. Does anyone have the link?
Here is a relevant photo, plus one extra picture. Please submit some possible captions... April 09 Ignorance is bliss!This is my favorite single comic strip of all time! It's all about awareness and behavior change as a therapist sees them... Round hay bales revisitedI just found some extra pictures of round bales on Lisa's space!
Here's a good one.... March 13 Hay bales are not what they used to be.I found this picture of hay bales in Lisa's page. I'm not sure this is a good idea, to start using the round hay bales. The cattle won't be able to get a "square meal"... February 20 Putting toothpaste back into tubeEver hear someone saying, "Trying to (fill in the blank) is like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube." ? Well, in actual fact, it's quite easy to put toothpaste back into the tube. Just hold the opening against the excess paste, with your fingers on the edges of the flattened tube, and squeeze the edges inward. It creates a suction that pulls the paste back inside! No need to thank me, I just feel good knowing I've helped some of you lead happier lives.... February 16 Everybody must get stoned...OK, then... One day when Jesus was teaching, there came a commotion at the back of the crowd and he looked up to see some men dragging a woman in scarlet towards him. They threw her at his feet and said, "Teacher, we caught this woman in the act of adultery. Our law says she must be stoned. What do you say?" Now, contravening the law would put off many of the people Jesus was trying to reach. Not only that, but it would invite the wrath of the religious authorities in Jerusalem. But saying she should be stoned would be regarded by the Romans as usurping their authority, for they reserved the power to perform executions for themselves alone. As Jesus considered this, his eyes were met by those of the woman trembling at his feet. Her fate was in his hands. He knew then what he had to say. Jesus stood up to his full stature, raised his hand and spoke loudly enough for the people in the back to hear, "Let whomever among you is without sin cast the first stone!" Stunned silence. The heat shimmered above the dust for several heartbeats, and then... ...a rock came whizzing in from among the crowd, struck the woman between the eyes and she fell dead. Jesus saw this and began to shout and stomp his feet, "Oh, Mother!!!" January 30 How to meditateMy cat Pyewackett is teaching me. First you need the right position: all four feet uderneath. Then wrap your tail around you, fluff, and repeat the mantra: "Purr-Purr-Purr". Works every time.
(see comments) January 11 God and cussin'A minister and Joe, a member of his congregation, went golfing together one Saturday. On the first hole the congregant missed a shot and said, "Dammit, I missed!" The minister took exception to this and scolded the man for taking the Lord's name in vain. Joe said he'd be careful. However, two holes later he knocked one into the weeds, and forgetting his promise said, "Dammit' I missed again!" The minister reminded him not to swear, pointing out that God does not take kindly to such goings-on. Chastened, Joe said he'd be extra careful. All went well for 6 more holes, but it was hot and when Joe bounced the ball off a branch into the water he blew it, hissing out, "Dammit, missed again!"' Well, the preacher had had enough, and really reamed Joe out and, for good measure, informed him that, "The next time you say that, The Lord will send down a lightning bolt and burn you to a cinder!!" Well now, Joe was scared speechless. He couldn't focus very well for two more holes, but then he regained his wits and began to actually catch up with the minister's score. By the last hole, Joe only needed to sink one putt to win. He gave it his best shot, swinging hard to get the necessary distance. Unfortunately, the ball bounced off a tree trunk and nearly hit Joe in the head on the ricochet. He threw down his club and kicked it, shaking his fist and roaring, "Dammit all to HELL! I missed AGAIN!!" With that, a bolt of lightning struck, BANG!! ...burning the minister to a cinder. Joe looked up, and a booming Voice said, "'Dammit, I missed!"
|
|
|
